I was 40 years old before I learned this simple concept: What you say about others says more about you than it does about them. It was at a time when my life was in turmoil. I had just been diagnosed with a chronic illness, I didn’t get the promotion that I had hoped for, and then I got a new boss.

I sincerely didn’t like her, and I am embarrassed to say that I spent most of my waking hours bad mouthing her behind her back. During that time I applied for eight different positions and kept getting turned down.

It took many years of reflection to realize that the reason I wasn’t considered for those positions was because I had been complaining to the people who could hire me. 

On a daily basis I was sending messages about my character. It was as if I was shouting, “I am very difficult to work with!” “I am not a team player!” “I will stab you in the back!” “Hey hire me!”

Why didn’t I see what a negative professional portrait I was painting?

To take charge of the impression you leave at work, ask yourself – “How will my words or actions be perceived?”


This article written by Ruby Newell-Legner, a nationally recognized training expert and a friend of Baudville. Learn more about Ruby at www.RubySpeaks.com.